Hello, Old Friend

The black bag is back... Chocolate Shakeology! I've missed this old friend! After months of Tropical Strawberry, I was just ready to go back to a flavor that brings comfort and richness to my tastebuds. Anyone who knows this flavor knows it is full of decadent, bold chocolately deliciousness. I'm looking forward to sharing some of my old recipes and hopefully come up with some yummy new ones.

I was bummed to discover I was out of coconut as I really wanted to whip up an Almond Joy-inspired shake in my nifty Ninja. Instead, I settled on my Tangy Black Cherry Chocolate shake.

Tangy Black Cherry Chocolate

1 scoop of Beachbody's Chocolate Shakeology
1 T chia seed
1/2 container of Chobani Black Cherry Greek yogurt
1/2 cup Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Breeze
water and ice

Blend and sip. Or chug. Whatever works for you! Enjoy!

Bringing back this healthy friend really helps me refocus on eliminating those unhealthy habits I have gotten into. I'm excited to go "old school" with some HipHop Abs and throw down some Turbo Fire before derby practice. I also have the Roller Derby workout I need to get into. I'm loaning my classic pound-dropper, Turbo Jam, to a dear friend and hope it brings her the same weight loss ass-kicking joy it did me.

Bruised Egos and Bruised Butts

I'm a blunt kinda gal and will come right out with it... I failed at completing my 25/5 requirement on my laps assessment last week. (For my non-derby friends, that is 25 laps in 5 minutes). I did 25 laps in 5 minutes and 21 seconds.

I can think of so many reasons why I screwed this up: my confidence, nerves, complaining excessively by lap 15, not staying low, burning thighs, a throbbing right foot, sucky skates, and it could go on. Some of those could really be factors, but deep down I know it is because I just haven't worked enough on endurance and strength lately. And boy is that honesty an insult to injury.

I've pushed myself the past several days in many ways and am going to just keep going. I've loved just skating every day and feeling more powerful and skilled and will continue to do that from here on out, but I WANT to complete every little last bit of my assessments. To put that step behind me, get my derby name, be an actual member of the team I'm fortunate to practice with, and be rid of my freshmeat status would be a real confidence builder. It's like those elusive laps stand between me and belonging almost.

So this next week feels like a make or break time. I have to complete that 25/5, plus the other requirements, and then my paper test. I'm not too worried about anything else other than the laps. I know that if it doesn't happen this week that I have the next and the next and that I will never really be done as my learning of this sport will never be done. That doesn't change the pressure or the desire for it. 

I've been my own worst critic since the first day I slid onto the rink having only skated on quads once before maybe 24 years or so earlier. Sometimes I can see how far I've come and sometimes I bruise more than just a butt or a palm (my 2 favored locations, apparently). Sometimes I bruise my own ego, and roller derby is as emotional, for me, as it is physical. I'm not an overly-emotional or sensitive person, but a challenging practice can bring out a different side of me. I let something out, though I have yet to figure out what it really is. Fear? Self-doubt? Anger? Disappointment?

Today I rest my sore knee, pray for a way to get some new skates, and then go to tonight's practice. I may be trying my 25/5 again. With a group looking on, my nerves will be a mess, but there must be something in me waiting to get out that can help me push just a little more and shave off 21 seconds. I'm going to try to stay positive and just push. When that last lap comes, I need to look for the success in it, whether I'm under 5 minutes or not.

I've Been Doing Laps in My Head

Yes, you read that title correctly. I have been doing laps in my head, endless circles with flawless crossovers. I must admit that at 2 a.m. counting sheep would probably be more effective (because this has certainly not been), but with my roller derby assessments here, the desire of completing 25 laps in 5 minutes is great. I'm also scared that I can't get anywhere close! Yikes!

The pressure of wanting to pass and worrying that I cannot just really sucks. I'm hoping to sneak into the Roller Plex and have my daughter time my laps before my assessment so I go into it knowing my general ability. Nothing would be worse than me crying on the cold concrete rink in the fetal position...when I'm not even injured.

Onto another challenge I hope I'm ready to face... I've decided, after pouring myself into a school improvement mission based on hours and hours of my own research, to go a step further and begin grad school. I could, ideally, complete my master's degree in Ed Leadership in about 2 years. Honestly, the only thing scary about this is the thought of more student loans! (I could be counting those in an attempt to sleep. Suddenly counting laps doesn't seem so bad!)

On another note, I'm realizing that my summer is fading too quickly. I've spent too much time watching Glee and doing logic puzzles, both of which are addicting in their own weird ways. I've been generally lazy. Summers off may be ideal for relishing your ability to relax, but I'm feeling a bit of panic as I have been a little too lazy! Crap! I've got to start doing MORE with my days!

After just one more episode of Glee... Just one more...